Surreal. I have lived 30 - 40 miles west of Boston for 42 years. To hear President Obama talk about Boston and Bostonians and people and pages on Facebook sending out prayers and respects to Boston. Absolutely surreal.
My emotions run the gamut.
Anger. On a selfish level, I am pissed that this "person" (assuming it is one person) ruined my amazing Patriots Day weekend. I love this holiday for so many reasons. What it is about (America and patriotism) and when it is (Spring!). The weather was glorious and I did so much yard work I am icing my neck and shoulders as I type. I came inside with the kids after a happy afternoon spent doing lawn-"tractor" rides cleaning up the yard waste to hear about a double explosion at the Boston Marathon. "WHAT?" Did I hear that right? I am angry that someone would do this on a holiday that celebrates the birth of America! We should celebrate together with pride, not by hurting people.
Sadness. Those poor people whose lives were just thrown into unimaginable pain and fear. I won't go into the details that I am hearing, but it was horrific. I was sitting at the dinner table with my family, thinking of those people - some grieving the death of a loved one, or not knowing where their loved ones are, or waiting at the hospital wondering if their loved ones are going to survive - fighting the guilt that I was sitting with my family eating a delicious dinner. It is a blessing that two of the best hospitals in the country (Massachusetts General Hospital and Brigham's and Women's) were right around the corner.
Gratitude. I am so grateful for the fact that, as of this moment, I do not know anyone that was hurt or killed in this tragedy. Yet. With over 100 people hurt, I might hear something in the next day or two. I am also grateful for my kids. While my husband sat in front of the news and seethed in anger to the point he gave himself a migraine, I had to tend to the kids (4 and 5 1/2 years old), get them a bath and get dinner on the table. I did keep an eye on Facebook to keep track of friends who live in the city ant that run (2 have run the Marathon in the past but didn't this year, thank goodness) but I had "tubby time" and the joy of smelling my clean happy "babies". We even had a wrestling/tickling match. The giggles and squeals of young children is a balm for any hurt.
Pride. Last but not least, pride. For my city and my neighbors. We will stand tall and strong. We will get through this, like those who suffered before us - Oklahoma City, Littleton, CO (Columbine), Blacksburg, VA (Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University), Aurora, CO and Newtown, CT. And, sadly, many others.
Remember to hug and kiss your loved ones - family and friends - and tell them you love them. Everyday.
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